Fine Water Update #1: Hildon Water -- H2Ordinary

Yet another gift bestowed upon me this holiday season: "Fine Waters, A
Connoisseur's Guide."  This book attempts to turn water into wine, illuminating the trace characteristics that make each water distinct, and attempting to
turn the everyday activity of being scammed into buying $3.00 bottles
of water into a snobby game for the elite.

Along with my book, I received a wonderful "starter kit" of
about five fine bottles of water from around the world.  I will make
sure to document my journey to aqua-affluence here, so that you will
start to think of me as your h20 go-to guy.

This week's water?  Hildon.  Straight from England's
Hampshire, this well-siphoned refreshment is presented in a stately
looking glass bottle, complete with once-meaningful coat of arms.  It
purports to be "delightfully still," which until now I thought was only
descriptive of the British Parliament.  "Still", for anyone using the
Pound Sterling or the Euro, means "not soda-water."

The assessment?  This stuff is tap water man, it's a sham.
It's classified as a "hard water," which in this case translates as
"hard to drink unless you're super thirsty."  Seriously, it tastes
almost identical to the water coming out of my kitchen sink right now,
which is why each week I go to one of those little windmills on the
side of the road and fill up old jugs with drinking water whilst* pretending that no one is staring at me. 

A disappointing beginning to my career as a water connoisseur.  Hopefully next week, something "delightfully tasty?"

*It's like saying "while" and patting yourself on the back at the same time.  It's your standard 16oz Jamba-while, but with a free ego-boost.